Funny Stories.

My dad thinks i have grown up. He feels that now that I am 18 (or soon to be at least) he can talk to me like he talks to his friends. My dad has had many interesting experiences in his 51 years and many of them are absolutely hilarious. This morning was when he related one of the more "dirty" ones i could feel that he's trying to open up to me. Little did I realise exactly HOW dirty this story was to be. It's a true story by the way.

Setting : Night near Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman outside Coliseum cinema mid 1977

My dad was sitting in the backseat of my uncle's car. My uncle is not a person who visits prostitutes much less transvestite ones but he does enjoy making fun of them so he sees a TV hooker and pulls his car up by the kerb and winds down the window. The TV comes up to the window and says RM 30. My uncle tries to haggle with him/her for the fun of it and says RM 10. He/She refuses and insists on RM 30. My uncle continues to haggle and the TV finally brings her price down to RM 25. My uncle then chooses this moment to make the statement of the year. "Wah Your Ass made out of gold ah!?" The TV then punches my uncle straight in the teeth and my uncle is not willing to let go. He grabs the TV's fingers and hits the accelerator and a whole gang of TV's appear out of nowhere and starts giving chase. My dad watches the entire show from the backseat and they make it out safely. Moral of the story : Don't insult a TV's ass.

Arsenal 3 Newcastle 0 FA Cup 5th Round.


Thursday 17.01.08

Left home early. By 10am i was already here. Registration took 2 hours or so. I was doing people watching. Saw one girl who was dressed to kill. (she still is. She owns NO civilian clothes!) Also spotted a couple of people who my intuition told me would be very good friends... And they did turn out to be as well. After registration we headed off to our rooms and unpacked. I carried this giant Samsonite suitcase that could fit my entire body if rolled up! I met my 3 roomates. Haiqal a.k.a Bob. Adrian a.ka. tepong and iskandar a.ka. pre-med. Very nice people and very helpful people as well. Adrian mostly at first because he had a laptop which i used for my Ipod. :D Then we went for our first dining hall food. It sucked. Badly. REALLY REALLY TERRIBLE. I soon met another person who i think will be good friends. I don't have any pictures yet so it is really difficult to imagine. We had our many ice breaking games and meet the seniors sessions. In between that we had University Course guide and subject choice guide as well. Uber-boring. At least i had friends to chat with :D

At night we played games with the seniors. Basically making circles. Lots and lots of circles. That was quite lame but in a way fun also. The next two days were pretty much repeats of the first day. Since Monday however things have been rather different. The wi-fi finally started working over the past few days so that is a major plus point. (thus the very delayed post!) Dota was also installed on every laptop and computer we could get our hands on. Even as i blog now i can hear the Dota sound-effects in the background. This place has become a giant CC haha. We leave in the middle of the night to the other guys chalets on the other side of the college to play Dota and watch American Pie. That's sort of my routine.

Classes started yesterday. I'm taking Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. I have a Guai Lo from UK called Dr. Norman Foord for Physics, an Indian lady named Ms. Shree for Chemistry and a lembap looking Malay man for Maths. I'm really excited about Physics because the teacher is superb. He makes his students think and not remember. That's the sort of teacher i came here for. The indian lady is like an average school teacher except she's a million times smarter but her teaching methods are very Malaysian.

The seniors are very nice. They are really helpful. I mean seriously. Also they are pretty good at basketball which makes life very easy for me because i thought that coming here would mean i will no challenges to play basketball but they are pretty alright so i have a reason to go and play :D.

Ok it's nearly 5.30 and i wanna go play basketball. Kick some senior ass. Bye!



WOOHOO. The laptop of my excellent friend Adrian Koay finally works. I finally have access to internet. I'm super super rushing now because i have to see the laundry lady to send in my laundry but tonight there is a super long post with all the stuff i have seen and done since thursday :D bye


Hey guys. It's me again. And yes, i am in the place that will in for the next 1.5 years. Currently blogging this post from KYUEM It Lab. The connection is so mind bogglingly fast it took 15 minutes for this page to load. Super lame. Anyway until CNY i'll be stuck with this very quick computer and very very very quick connection. Off to other activities now. More updates on my activities today later. Bye

12 Hours.

You know the show 24. It was on AXN for sometime. Kiefer Sutherland acted in it? Yeah. My life's like that now. After all the false starts and possible dates of departure, I finally have 12 hours left. Exactly 12 hours. As of 8.30 AM tomorrow i will be in the car heading to Never-Nowhere land. I have already packed everything in this gigantic Samsonite suitcase. When i say gigantic i mean it! If i fold my body up i fit straight in the suitcase! That's big. Everything is in and i'm out. Every hour is ticking by while i hope to conjure another out of nowhere (however i will be sleeping for 8 hours tonight so that cuts my remaining time rather considerably). That's it from No.6, Jalan Desa Permai. The next one will be from Kolej Yayasan UEM, Tanjung Malim.

Bye kawans and everybody who has ever impacted my life in any way. I am eternally thankful for everything all of you had, has and are doing to change my life everyday. Bye!


Yay. KYUEM just called like 2 hours ago. Talk about eleventh hour. They gave me excellent news. Registration been pushed back to next thursday. That Means :


Yes. I had to say in large font. But you get the point. I have another 3 days in KL. Dudududu happy. Bye


Roman Money. In the era of 60 B.C. it kept Europe afloat by purchasing a good part of the Roman Empire of Nero and Caesar. In 2008 however it bought Nicholas Anelka. Well all Roman Money is good Roman Money. 15 Million Quid is what he's worth and the 36 minutes he was on against Tottenham showed why he's worth that. Two amazing shots on goal. One just tipped away by the goalie and the other denied by the crossbar. But Shaun Wright-Phillips did not miss and sealed up an already ended match when Juliano Belletti scored his second Chelsea goal of the season with an amazing shot from 25 yards out. Right bullet to the top corner.

Final Score : Chelsea 2 Tottenham 0

I have 36 hours left. Just 36 hours left before i leave to Lembah Beringin for the next portion of my life. I don't know what to say or what to do.


There is 3 days left. Only 3. Just now i went swimming and to shoot some hoops with the gang. A lot of hardcore action in the pool. Everybody got baptised a couple of times and then some. Lots of good, clean fun. Soon we adjourned to Jalal Yussof. The site of so many meetings and partings and so it was to be for me as well. I said goodbye to the crew and headed home after eating my Meehoon goreng and 100+ for the last time. I'm not gonna put on a brave face and say it didn't affect me. Those were people i grew up with. Those are people i know through and through. Those are people i trust. I'm leaving all of them behind to "start afresh". Well i'll just pray the Lord has mercy and i have good friends there as well. Goodbye my trusted friends. We will meet again.. someday.


My time is running out. I have exactly5 days left before i'm gone. Yesterday morning i went to see my ENT surgeon to check how my nose is functioning one last time before i head off to college. Now i have had many metal apparatus stuffed in my nose but yesterday was the most painful one yet. I've had my fair share of pain but that... is beyond worse. He took out the sutures holding the septum together. Yes it is as painful as it sounds. I headed to iplay after that for some quality DoTA sessions. In a couple of hours though, i have to visit my dentist who will probably tighten my braces up and cause me another couple of days worth of pain. Pain, pain, pain all around. Well at least Chelsea won so that takes the edge of it a little.

My mother has this weird complex with me. She has me work for her sometimes. Drafting, legal work that she's darn lazy to do. She thinks i'm a bloody lawyer for god sake and i tend to lead her on by actually giving her workable solutions. Like last night at dinner. She comes to me and says. Maxis gave me a call. *******. (due to client confidentiality i cannot reveal our discussion) Then she goes on to give me the meeting notes and tells me, I need to get this done so can you sit down and draft a quick reply to this (all in legal-speak of course). And i actually do it and send it off to her email. And i don't get paid for it. :( Well it won't go on for much longer. I'm off soon and she has to find somebody else to do her dirty work.

Good Morning Malaysia.


The title of this post may seem odd but to any who have watched the Carling Cup semi-final between Chelsea and Everton will realise what i am getting at. English referees are bad. BAD. They are absolutely uninterested in preserving the flow of a game and are show amazing favouritism. English referee's can be described in one word. BIASED. Jon Obi Mikel was sent off for a decision which is at best a yellow card. Up until this point in the game Chelsea were absolutely dominant in every aspect. They had got their early goal (Shaun Wright-Phillips 26') and were content to play around and look for an opening. Then came the challenge. Even without the benefit of video replays (which i absolutely support for use in the Premier League) the decision was so easy to see. It was a yellow card. No question about it. But for the referee to whip out the red with no hesitation whatsoever is very very wrong.

This is what Fifa's official definition of a red card.

A player, substitute or substituted player is sent off and shown the red card if he commits any of the following seven offences:

1. is guilty of serious foul play
2. is guilty of violent conduct
3. spits at an opponent or any other person
4. denies the opposing team a goal or an obvious goalscoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball (this does not apply to a goalkeeper within his own penalty area)
5. denies an obvious goalscoring opportunity to an opponent moving towards the player’s goal by an offence punishable by a free kick or a penalty kick
6. uses offensive or insulting or abusive language and/or gestures
7. receives a second caution in the same match.

Exactly which of these offences did Mikel do? Perhaps no.1. The studs of Mikel were slightly off the ground but it was only on one foot. It was also not targeted at the player but at the ball. Therefore no.1 is inapplicable. Onto rule no.2 then. Did the foul directly injure the player? NO. Was the foul made with malice or intent to injure the opposing player? NO. With all that in view is a highly trained professional who is supposed to uphold the rules of the game be allowed to blatantly flout the rules? I hope that the League, FIFA, the referee's association and the PFA sit down and resolve this farcical merry-go-round of terrible, terrible decisions. This is hardly the first time that this has happened and most likely not going to be last.

Chelsea however to be fair to them, never threw in the towel and continue to battle till the very end. Of course they were rewarded by Lescott's lack of concentration at the death of the game. But the referee repeatedly made what can only be described as pro-Everton decisions. Every man is entitled to make his mistakes but this is really taking is too far. I really hope something is done.

Final Score : Chelsea 2 Everton 1 (yet again)

Man of the Match :
Idiot of the match :


San Antonio Spurs gave me something to cry about in the morning. I woke up to see this unsavoury scoreline. DEN 80 SA 77. To wash the bad taste out of my mouth i made a couple of calls and headed off to Midvalley for this.
Hmm. Aliens vs Predator 2 Requiem. What could possibly go wrong? It's a gore fest from the start that's for sure. Not much of a storyline though. Basically Predator's screw up in Alien transportation, Aliens and Predator crash on earth and Predator calls for backup. The rest they say is history. The feeble attempts of the director to make us feel for the human characters just backfire in a big way. I just end up wanting them to die quickly. There is a hot babe though but she's a real blonde bimbo. All in all it's a gore-fest full of blood in many colours and forms. Acid-clear Alien blood, fluorescent green Predator blood and good old fashioned Red human blood.

The Verdict : C+

10 days to College.


This morning i was rudely woken by my mother at 8.30am. I had only gone to bed the previous night at 3.30pm after watching Aston Villa beat Tottenham 2-1. 5 hours of sleep = cranky. Anyway the reason for this awakening was that my brilliant college required a full medical test including blood tests, urine tests, poo tests, x-rays and DRUG TESTS! It seems the college needs to know whether i'm a damn junkie before they let me in! As if a junkie can score grades like mine!! Anyway bureaucracy is the name of the game so off i went to Pantai Cheras to get my tests done. Waiting, bleeding, undressing, answering, redressing, posing, peeing and pooing all took around 2 hours. Rather quick. Now if i had to get that done in a government hospital (of which the extramarital Chua Soi Lek is the ex-minister in charge but more on that later) it would have taken nothing short of 5-8 hours. A whole day gone. But thanks to the diligent efforts of my insurance agency and the MO's at Pantai everything was settled in 2 hours.

Now onto the brilliant Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek. Former Health Minister of Malaysia, Former MCA vice-president, former Johor MCA chief and Former Labis MP. Notice the word former ahead of all his Former titles. Yes, he resigned today from everything and MCA accepted his resignation. Now why on earth would he resign? After all he was an unstoppable political force, rising through the rank and file of MCA to become a possible future MCA president. Two words. Some Woman. A personal friend of the good ex-minister. Also his mistress it may seem from the videos circulating in the Batu Pahat area in recent times. Now this brilliant ex-minister who had brought some positive changes to the Health ministry in recent times despite UMNO's continued interference in his attempts to reform the healthcare of this country is now publicly crucified. Why? It would seem that someone set him up. After all no sane man would record his illicit sex and then release to the general public knowing full well what was going to happen. Thus i feel it wrong that he resigned. He was not corrupt (as far as we know), he was not mismanaging public funds (once again as far as we know) and most importantly he was not incompetent. He made one crucial error. Sleeping with the aforementioned madam in full view of a CCTV camera. How did that affect the running of this country? How did that affect our day-to-day lives? How did that affect the ministry he runs? How did that affect his capability to run that ministry? Most importantly however, is How On Earth does whatever he does on his personal time CONCERN US? How are we entitled to take the moral high ground and crucify a man who has done us no wrong (as far as we know)? That is all that is wrong with us Malaysians today. We are so quick to fire the silver bullet and kill the werewolf but forgetting that a man lives beneath. Yet we cannot see that all the other corrupt, incompetent and foolish bastards in the cabinet are worse. Far worse. Semi-value and his thuggery is worse. Tengku Adnan and his manipulation of the judiciary is worse. Zam-zam alakazam and his lies are worse. Keris-muddin and his racist rhetoric is worse. Yet us short-sighted Malaysians are quick to crucify Dr. Chua. I do not condone his actions. His family is now wrecked forever. But i also feel that the reaction to this has been nothing short of ludicrous. I cannot say that i did not think RESIGN NOW! was the first thought in my mind when i first read of his escapades but after much contemplation i think that what a man does with his private affairs should remain exactly that. PRIVATE!.

Now it is too late. There is a silver lining in the cloud. The whole nation can view BN's abuse of the election commission and abuse of public funds in Labis during the upcoming by-election for the MP's post there. With that in mind we can all go to the GE and make the right decision. Hopefully DAP will place a strong candidate in Labis. Thank you.


Quick one. Chelsea won the midweek fixture at Craven Cottage against Fulham. 2-1 (it's becoming a bit of a habit isn't it). Terrible decision by the ref to award Fulham a penalty early in the game when no contact was made. But later Alex helped Kalou to a nice header and Ballack set up and scored a penalty to clean things up and settle the points. That's all for now. Good Night!

New Year.

Good morning. Happy New Year. I had a barbecue-thing. The entire clan descended upon No.6, Jalan Desa Permai from 8pm last night and with any large congregation of indian men, a few good friends came along...

Yes. Those friends. My mother however got something special for this New Year as it also was my family farewell. Moet! Me loveeee... :D We also did a barbecue. My brilliant father bought long burning charcoal. What he didn't realise is that long burning means hard-to-start. After much effort by yours truly and my cousin we finally succeeded in starting the fire after 2 hours!! Sausages and chicken quickly roasted up and was accompanied by some wines. I think it was a 2004 Pinot Sauvignon from Chancery Farm NZ. Soon we all were a good ways to stone and i brought out a pack of cards and we started chor ti'ing till 11.55pm when Taman Desa came to good use. I always hated the hilliness of my area but yesterday i was absolutely thankful. Cousins and mua raced up to a high point and watched 360 fireworks from KLCC, Midvalley, One U and PJ State. Uber-fun. Came back down and my drunk uncles were in action with my dad. They were all watching an indian movie(duh!) and when the songs started (as they inevitably do) the eldest uncle started dancing. Yes, the sight of a balding 60 year old man with a gigantic beer belly dancing is not the sight you want to start the new year with. Quickly the other uncles joined in and dragged all the aunties in as well. My mum wisely abstained from this drunken revelry. Then came the goodbyes. Everybody was like "Good luck in your college." and "You'll do well for sure" and all the other "motivational" stuff. Although by this point everybody was speaking in slurs. My uncle decided to add some late night drama into this event. It was about 3am and they were leaving. He (being totally stoned) went and sat in the drivers seat and wanted to drive his family home. My auntie would have none of it and told him to get out so he promptly did. He went over to the other side of the car and showed an angry face to my auntie who by this time was revving the engine and was ready to go. He then decided (i think) that he didn't want to get in the car and started walking off in a random direction. He doesn't live in Taman Desa. My dad who was watching all this from a distance panicked and so did my cousin. They quickly ran after my uncle who had already covered a considerable distance by then. (very surprising for a man who has battled arthritis for the last 20-odd year) Finally they caught him and escorted him back to the car. Needless to say a good part of the neighbourhood was aware of my uncle's drunken exploits. Well that was the end of the night and I took a shower, sent a couple of messages and knocked off. Woke up this morning to greet 2008 with the taste of whiskey in my mouth!

2 many people will leave my life.
0 people i know in Middle-Of-Nowhere College.
0 times i have missed my parents in my life
8 bread this morning. First meal of the year.

I'll miss you 2007. I loved it. It showed me so many new people. People who i have grown to love and i hope, love me too. It showed me all the things that live can be and will be as i move on. It gave me choices and i made decisions. It was by far. The Best Year of my life thus far.